I've been thinking a lot lately about the effects of alcoholism on the pecking order of the siblings in my family. For example, in my family there are (7) siblings of which 4 are male and 3 female. I am the second eldest and the oldest of the females. Now, Why would this be on my mind so much, you might ask? Well, let me put it this way, although we have all grown up to be decent, good citizens, well-educated and law abiding, we all have our quirks and personality differences. Understandably, I was not the only one of my siblings to suffer from my father's drinking. I would not be so selfish as to want to stake that claim. And I certainly don't want that label as my claim to fame. My father's heavy drinking took it's toll on all of us. My mother's inability or refusal to remove us from that environment, did not help us either. Her cultural background and her religious convictions would not permit her to even contemplate leaving him and removing us from that way of life.
The seven of us get along, however, there are cliques among some of them. For instance, my two sisters are closer to each other and exclude me from many things. The youngest sister is actually 19 years younger than me. So, we really don't have much in common and for some reason no matter how hard I try to infiltrate the clique, nothing seems to work. They in turn get along well with one of my middle brothers and our oldest brother. Sounds confusing doesn't it? Most of my brothers and sisters basically just tolerate me. They are all very obliging to my parents especially to mom.Mom is "queen bee"-self-proclaimed and we are never allowed to forget that. My sisters call mom at least twice a day. I call once a week. So, guess what? That makes me a bad daughter and sister in their opinion. Most of the time they are all oblivious to each other even when in the same room. Oh, don't get me wrong. There are greetings and fake kisses or what I like to call "air kisses" on major get togethers like Mother's Day, Christmas or whatever function. The rest of the time, none of them remembers anything about prior conversations or even what is currently happening. They all live in a me,me world and that is the only important thing. If I do anything to deviate from what they believe or think should happen, they get angry because I do not follow their rules. In other words, they take their toys and go home!
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Here is a perfect example and what got me thinking about this situation. Traditionally, the whole family unites for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Mother's Day, Father's Day and even to celebrate a broken toe if so ordered. This year, I chose to accept an invitation to celebrate Thanksgiving with my daughter-in-laws parents and family.How dare I do that! So, my husband, me,my son,his wife and little ones all went to Orlando and had a marvelous time. Every one talked and laughed and were interested in us and actually engaged in two way conversations. How novel! I haven't heard from my sisters who were not thrilled with my break from tradition.........
(to be continued.........)
