My memories of my childhood are quite vague and sparse. I don't remember if I had any close friends or kids I played with. I have visions of when I started school and being in first grade. The classroom had lots of fun things to do and we sang songs and played games. But, no memories of other little girls. I was not allowed to have little friends or play outside or to even invite them home. My father and mother were very strict and so we never had friends come over to play.
The other day I watched the movie "Precious" for the first time and let me tell you this was not a pleasant experience as I found myself reflecting back to my own childhood and family life. Precious was abused, sexually and physically and had an awful childhood. Her life was absolutely nightmarish! My own childhood was definitely not a walk in the park and watching this movie, I wondered how I was able to withstand all that I suffered and all the abuse. Although, I admit my life was not as horrid as that lived by "Precious." But, it was my reality and to me it was horrible!
It was difficult to form friendships and to bond with other children when all I can think about is when will my father find me and beat me to a pulp. How can you enjoy gossiping and playing make-belief and doing girly things when you are trembling in your shoes about even being outside the house. I was expected to always stay inside the house and don't let him find me being idle. No, there was never to be any levity or playtime let alone female bonding.....
This past Friday I was invited to a get together at a friends' home to celebrate Valentine's Day and to also check out some new make-up being demonstrated by our other friend who sells cosmetics. Well, it turned into a fantastic girls night out with about 15 ladies showing up and ready to party! These were all neighbors of the hostess and I was impressed with how close they were. They all made me feel right at home and I was able to feel like I've known them all my life! We drank wine, sampled many delicacies, tried on different makeup and told funny stories. I crave this bonding and find myself wanting more. Most of my adult life, I have gotten by with little or no friends. I didn't know how to meet new friends and sustain relationships of any kind-let alone female friendships.
Next week is my 62nd birthday and in recent years I have been experiencing many firsts. To many people, 62 is old to start doing things for the first time. You might think that there are no new challenges and that I should have a "what's the use" attitude. I've got news for you-my life is just beginning! There was so much I didn't get to enjoy or experience as a child. But, that doesn't mean that I can't enjoy them now! My goal is to meet and bond with as many new female friends as I can. I will make up for all the little girls I didn't get to meet and play with when I was a little girl. This time I don't have to be afraid either!
By the way, if you haven't seen the movie "Precious" I highly recommend it!!!
About Me
- Angela Zechinato
- Viera, Florida, United States
- Living the Florida Lifestyle with my husband Max and enjoying my life with 2 furry poodles Sissy and Missy who I call my children. My human children are all grown and on their own. I am a proud grandmother of 5. We live in Sunny, Central Florida in a gorgeous house on a lake. I am blessed to have overcome my abusive upbringing and have decided that it is time to write about it to help others who experienced the same physical and emotional abuse. This Blog is dedicated to those who have remained silent!!
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