Manipulation-Are You Easily Manipulated?

My disposition is very laid back; a little excitable, but in a good way! Takes lots to rile me or to upset me; not easy to anger. Compassion is my middle name. Maybe too easy-going! If I have something you need-it's yours. I've given away many prized possessions just because I know someone else liked them. So yes, I am also very generous. I'm usually the one who drops money into collection containers outside shopping centers and grocery stores. But, I wouldn't say that I am a patsy-or that I am easily manipulated! At least I didn't think so until recently!

Yet, that is exactly what I've allowed to happen recently. My story is actually too lengthy to go into here. It involved a very loved and close family member who I believe now is very coy and knows exactly what is being done. I allowed the fact that this individual has suffered greatly and is also ill (mental health) to taint my thinking. In all fairness to myself, my judgment was clouded by how I feel for this person. However, this person's action hurt several other family members at a time of the year-Christmas Holidays-when we needed to be loving and caring toward one another. Needless to say, the holidays were marred and less than festive. Not to mention  that it left a lasting impression on my psyche and I will not be caught off guard again anytime soon.

I played right into this person's hands and without knowing the whole story immediately went to her defense and lashed out at the accused. I am not proud of this-but, I feel like I've been blind-sided! The hurt feelings on the faces of loves ones is too much to bear when an injustice has been committed. Who ever coined the phrase "All Is Fair In Love And War" was not a very compassion person. In my opinion, whenever love is involved, be it the love between lovers, siblings or parent/child; the cost is great if it involves betrayal or manipulation. Whenever an individual pushes certain buttons to achieve a result in their favor, the consequences to the recipient are severe; maybe even devastating.

Something I did immediately when I realized something was wrong was to call someone else I trust and discussed the situation. This enabled me to diffuse it and to keep others from getting hurt. Now, the person who started all this isn't aware that I am on to the game and that now I am armed with better tools for coping next time without blowing everything out of proportion.

So what did I learn from this experience. Well many things:

• Remember that there are two sides to every story.
• Don't be too quick to judge.
• Don't be too quick to over react without having all the facts.
• Think about what motives might be in play.
• Consider the individual telling or making accusations.
• Who loses or gains?
• Make sure you are not being used or manipulation. 
• If you do fall for the ploy-be big enough to apologize to all parties involved/wronged!
• Address situation immediately-don't let hurt feelings linger!

But most importantly, forgive and forget - Especially to forgive myself!