What Does Your Self-Talk Sound like: Is It Positive or Negative?

This morning I was speaking on the phone with my best friend in the world, Jeanie. She is my next door neighbor and is one of the nicest and most gregarious ladies I know. I love her laugh and enjoy talking to her. My husband and I moved next door to her in November 2007 but it feels like we've known each other for centuries. I believe we have! I love her like a sister!! Anyway, we speak on the phone everyday and are involved in community events as well. We were discussing how our self-talk pays a very important role to maintain positive mental attitudes and also keeping our bodies healthy. For example: if you are feeling down in the dumps and tired and keep repeating how down you feel and how tired you are, then you will continue to feel as such. The next thing you know you are in bed with the covers over your head thinking that your life sucks and that your life is over!

I used to think that my life sucked - Big Time! Many days, I did just stay in bed and cried until I could no longer. I prayed that something would happen that would take me out of my misery. This was a long time ago and when I think back to that time, I am reminded of the earliest times as a child when I first felt such misery. Many things are forgotten and gone. My memory is not good about my childhood. This is not unusual for abused and mistreated individuals. We tend to put out of our minds those things which were unpleasant and caused pain. Anyway, the earliest time I can remember where I had a negative mind-set was when I developed a cyst on my thyroid gland. My mother was combing my hair and when I tilted my head back she saw a huge lump pop out in the front of my neck. Being a firm believer that as we think we become and that thoughts are things; we manifest our reality and all that stuff. As a child I must have manifested this goiter in my throat out of frustration for not being able to speak for myself. Now I was very young about 11 years old at the time. There were to be many instances of illnesses that I would get and interestingly enough they usually involved my throat. I had swollen glands and sore throats alot. I had no voice in anything that happened in my young life!

It was until several years ago while trying to understand fibromyalgia and what seemed like arthritic pain, that it became clear to me that I was allowing what I experienced externally to affected me internally. I had become an expert at allowing my self-talk to make me sick, I was able to actually slow down my heart beat to such low levels that I needed to be hospitalized in order to monitor my heart, The Cardiologist treating me told me that I was carrying enough stress to kill an elephant and that I needed to start thinking healthy thoughts. In all fairness to myself, I realize that my upbringing and constant fear and physical abuse molded my thoughts and personality. Yes, I could blame everything on someone else. But I don't!

The mental work is ongoing and will be life long. Things do not change and get better over night. It takes lots of hard work and constant pushing by ME in order not to fall back on old patterns. The triggers are always hanging over me like a shadow reminding me of that little girl who needed help and protection. I am able to help her now and I can keep her safe! I am clear of the fact that it's up to me and my thoughts to never feel pain or hurt again!

So, I have some questions for you? What is your self-talk like? How are you feeling physically? Do your knees and legs hurt because you find it difficult to go forward with something in your life?

Did you know that fibromyalgia, at least in my case, was most severe when I had less control over my life? Yes, there are external factors involved liked the weather and overdoing, but mostly for me it has been allowing others to control me and my life.

Pay attention to what is going on your life and what illnesses are afflicting you. It's time to start thinking kinder and gentler thoughts. You can heal your life!!

Louise Hay and her books have been instrumental in my healing and well being.