Wondering Generality or Meaningful Specific? Zig Ziglar my Mentor..........

Most of my life I've experienced some form of Insomnia. Either, I was able to fall asleep and not stay asleep. Or, was not able to fall asleep until earlier morning hours. Sometimes, I didn't fall asleep no matter how hard I tried. My internal clock has been off and I can't seem to reset it! As a result, I have been forced to depend on sleeping aids if I am to be functional the next day. However, there are nights like last night, when even with the help of a sleeping pill I was still wide awake. But, not only that! My mind was torturing me like it hasn't in a very, very long time.

Earlier that afternoon, we had been invited to my sister and brother-in-laws to have a traditional Puerto Rican meal comprised of root vegetables and bacalao called Verdura con bacalao. Now, the bacalao is salted codfish, onions, tomatoes, avocado and olive oil all mixed together.  Maybe, it wasn't insomnia at all; but, a serious case of heartburn? Lol..... Anyway,one of my nieces was visiting from out of town and this was a good opportunity for all to visit with her. That should be a good thing, right? Not to me. There is such a let down whenever I visit with my family and siblings. It's always been that way and I always return home feeling sad and depressed. I know why....and will not elaborate here. I will just hint that I feel like a stranger around my family. I have absolutely nothing in common with my sisters; and their disdain for me is evident when I don't go along with their programs. So, this was one of the things torturing me while I was trying to fall asleep.

The other thing that was adding to my discomfort was that my husband's snoring next to me sounds like a "mack truck" rolling through!! And to add insult to injury, the above statement kept running through my brain......"Wondering Generality or Meaningful Specific" over and over again. How could this be?. My mentor and one of my idols Zig Ziglar was in head and testing me. Suddenly everything and every unpleasant situation from my past started coming back to me and I was starting to feel a strong sense of panic. I actually started crying..........my husband's snoring in the background like a constantly dripping faucet you can't shut off........I felt total despair!!!

At some point, I was finally able to fall asleep. But only got a few hours of sleep........When I awoke, my husband who was unaware of my difficult night, was bringing me a cup of  coffee. It does not escape me that my mind, my sub-conscience or even my spirit guides are using the night time hours to make me think about those things that I hide away and don't deal with during my day hours. Maybe, my spirit guides want me to think about the lessons learned over the years reading self help books from the likes of Zig Ziglar, Wayne Dyer, Dale Carnegie and others.

When I pray, and I do that a lot, I ask for help with my marketing efforts and with the internet business' I promote but I don't ask for help with my day to day, interpersonal relationships with family. My mind was telling me that I need to evaluate everything that I do including those that profess to love and care about me. Everything rushing in at the time I felt panic, was nothing more than the intensity and overwhelming emotions that I've been holding in for too long. This was a  warning that it is at a CRITICAL time in my life and it's time I start to address these situations and do it.......IMMEDIATELY!

I love what I am doing with my One24 business and my soon to be live - Viralprint. As a matter of fact, I've lost unwanted pounds without even trying using NatraBurst from One24. But, that's a separate blog story. My first commitment  and priority will be to them. Over the next few months, I will also be evaluating my goals and whether I just want to be a "wondering generality" or do I believe that I can be "A Meaningful Specific".........I choose the later!!! I have my work cut out for me........it won't be easy. It's a matter of survival and I desperately need a good nights sleep!
Angela Zechinato
http://www.angieloves124.com
More to come...........